Recall The Darkness
by polarbear815
Summary: Stiles forgets. The werewolves, the pack, everything that happened in the past two years. Even his mother's death. But the pack is there for him, Derek is there for him. They'll try and help him remember, but Stiles has to wonder, is it even worth remembering? Smutty, angsty, fluffy, all of it


**OKAY HI. This literally took about two long months to write, but I wanted to wait to put it up until I thought it was good enough. I love sterek, and I wanted to write a memory loss fic. So here it is, hope you enjoy (: (smut warning) **

* * *

There were three doctors hovering over him. Which wasn't unusual, Stiles has gotten used to doctors ever since his mom got sick. But what was weird was that the doctors weren't with his mom, they were with him. And Stiles, being Stiles, put two and two together realizing that he was the one in the hospital bed and he was the one with wires coming out of his arm.

The doctors were there for him. Which made zero to no sense. He doesn't remember having a doctor's appointment. Maybe he forgot. He did forget a lot of shit because he was usually so focused on other not so important stuff. Hello ADHD.

But still, why the fuck was he laying in a bed, in a nightgown thing that probably isn't covering his ass, with doctors coming closer to him with some strange dude lurking in the corner of his room.

And why did his head feel like somebody went trigger happy with a hammer and bashed at him a few times?

"Uhm, excuse me?" Stiles finally spoke up. The doctors were smiling, relief filling their faces. Two of the doctors exited, the creeper in the corner getting up out of his chair and coming forward with the last remaining doctor.

Wait a minute. That dude was Derek Hale. Maybe. His family though. Oh, shit. His whole family died in that fire not too long ago. But why did he look so… _old_? Stiles was pretty sure the guy was supposed to be like 20 by now, he looked like he was reaching for about 25 or something. Maybe he was on steroids.

"Ah Mr. Stilinski, welcome back to the land of the living." The doctor said. Stiles tore his eyes from the brooding male to look at his doctor.

"Uh… What?" Stiles managed.

"You hit your head pretty hard in that nasty fall you took. Should've known a clumsy boy like you should stray from stairs." He commented.

Stiles perched his head to the side, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion. Fall? What the fuck? He fell down the stairs? And hit his head? That's why it was hurting? He hand moved to the back the top of his head where he felt a nice bandage. Even lightly brushing his fingertips over it he felt how much it hurt.

"How long have I been out?" Stiles asked. He looked at Derek for a minute, still wondering why he was there, then back at his doctor.

"Oh a few days, nothing major, your body was just taking time to heal itself up. Did pretty well if you ask me."

"A few days? But… Oh my god! I missed Lacrosse tryouts. Shit man, Scott's gonna kill me." Stiles grumbled. "Where is Scott? And my dad, is he with-"

"I just had a nurse phone your dad he'll be here soon." He smiled. He looked at Derek. "And you've informed the cavalry of friends this boy has I assume?"

Derek nodded quietly, keeping his eyes locked on Stiles. The doctor nodded, smiling too brightly before happily excusing himself.

"How do you know Scott?" was the first thing Stiles asked Derek. Stiles was pretty sure if his best friend was hanging out with this guy he'd know. He knows he's been a little busy with his mom and all, but the last the doctors said was that she was recovering. It was all gonna be over soon and Stiles could go back to his regular life.

Derek didn't answer but his face showed a bit of shock. "What do you mean?"

Stiles shook his head (stupid idea, it fucking hurt) and flailed his arms around a bit in front of him. "What do you mean, what do I mean? I said how do you know Scott? My best friend. Mi mejor amigo? Huh buddy?"

"Stiles it's me." Derek said with a pointed look.

"Listen dude, I don't know who you think I am, or how you even know who I am for that matter, but I don't know you. Yeah I heard about your family, and sorry dude really I am, but why are you here?"

"Is this some kind of joke to you?" Derek said. If Stiles wasn't mistaken he's pretty sure Derek's eyes turned red for like a split second. But that totally didn't happen and he's definitely tripping on some type of drugs that the doctor gave him, cause dude, just no.

"Maybe you should just leave. I don't think my dad will be alright with some stranger harassing his healing son. He is a police officer you know."

Derek looked at him like Stiles had suddenly grown an extra head and maybe some eyes too. "Oh my god you're being serious." He said to himself. He shook his head, stepping forward and getting into Stiles' personal space. He placed his hands on both of his shoulders, startling Stiles, and bored his eyes into his.

"Stiles. What do you remember?" Derek barked.

Stiles swallowed at the close proximity cause this guy was totally starting to freak him out. He was scary as hell, with his dark and dangerous clothes and bags under his eyes like he hasn't slept in days. Maybe that was because of the whole dead family thing, but even with the sympathy that he felt for Derek having to deal with his loss, he was still scared shitless.

"Dude what the hell, back off!" Stiles yelled. He tried to shove away at Derek but the dude was built like a house.

"Answer me." he ordered.

Stiles opened his mouth to yell something back but it was cut off by the sound of his own father. "Oh Stiles, thank god." he had said. Derek let go of Stiles, thankfully, but kept his eyes on him. Stiles sighed out reaching out to his dad who was already in the room and leaning in for a hug.

When he pulled away Stiles frowned. He's pretty sure all those stress lines weren't there before he hit his head. Maybe he just hadn't noticed them. He seriously needed to start paying more attention.

"How you doing son?" he asked smiling a hand on his shoulder and the other resting on the side of his head.

"Better now." he said glaring at Derek who had retreated to the far corner of the room. "Scott gonna be here soon?"

His dad nodded. "On his way."

Stiles smiled, faltering a bit when Derek got up abruptly and exited the room. Well whatever, he thought, at least he's not being such a creep now. Maybe he finally got the hint.

"So what I miss? Any updates?" Stiles asked.

"Updates?"

Stiles frowned. "Yeah Dad updates. You know on mom? How's she doing? Last I remember she was supposed to be getting out of the hospital." His dad just stared. "Shit! Did I miss it? Her getting out? God damn it, me and Scott made a sign and everything back at the house. Did Scott remember the sign?"

"Son…"

"He didn't remember?! Dammit Scott. We worked like three days on that thing. Well I worked, Scott just brought the paints." Stiles sighed. "Is she on her way back at least? Like she's gonna be here soon right?"

And then something happened. His dad started crying. Right there in front of him. The hand that was on Stiles head before moved to cover his tears that were streaming down his face. The only time he had ever seen his dad cry was the first time his mom told Stiles she was really sick.

Why was he crying now? It didn't make sense. None of it made any fucking sense. Why was Derek here? Why was his dad crying? Where was Scott? Where was his mom?

"Dad? What-Why are you crying? Are you okay? Dad?" Stiles said panicking. He really wished his mom would get here sooner so maybe his dad would stop. His dad always smiled whenever she was around. She made him happy. She made everyone happy.

He didn't understand what the fuck was going on, but when Scott came through the door looking significantly buffer than he remembered, he felt a little bit better. Maybe things would start to make sense now.

Scott had rushed through the front door of the hospital, trying to get his feet to move faster towards Stiles' room. He hasn't heard his best friend talk in nearly a week. Do you know how scary that is? It's _Stiles_. He's always talking. And for him to suddenly just be laying there all concussed and looking dead was a pretty hard adjustment even if it was only for a couple of days.

He just about reaches Stiles' room when Derek is there, wild eyes and placing a firm hand on his chest.

"What man?" Scott says, wondering when Derek started having that serial killer look again. Shit was not kosher by any means.

"He doesn't remember anything Scott."

Scott shook his head, jaw opening slightly in confusion. "What." He said blandly. There wasn't even a questioning tone in his voice. He just wanted Derek to get out of his way so he could give his friend the bear hug he'd been waiting days to give him.

"He doesn't remember" Derek repeated. "Anything. He doesn't remember me. I don't even think he knows-" He stopped perching his head to the side to listen. Scott's pretty sure he saw whatever remaining color that was in Derek's face drain away.

"Is that Mr. Stilinski?" Scott asked, sniffing lightly at the air. Why did he smell so sad? Wait, was he crying? Why was he… Did something else happen? Panic filled Scott's eyes and for some odd reason Derek didn't even fight back when Scott pushed him out of the way.

He met Stiles' eyes; open thank god, as soon as he entered the room. Stiles looked horror stricken, patting his dads back trying to comfort his cries and was also peering oddly at Scott.

"Man what the hell happened? Are you on drugs or something?" Was Stiles' first question. Scott looked like he'd been lifting plenty of weights recently. His hair was also shorter and he wasn't dressed like an overgrown third grader.

"Sheriff are you alright?" Scott asked, ignoring Stiles' question completely. Scott played over his short conversation with Derek in his head. He didn't remember. But what was it exactly that he'd forgotten?

"Sheriff?" Stiles practically squealed. His dad peered up, wiping away at his eyes. "When the hell did you get promoted?" He asked his father.

His dad didn't answer but looked at Scott with worry. "Maybe you should get the doctor." Scott said. Mr. Stilinski nodded looking back at his son. He kissed his forehead lightly before getting up quickly and exiting the room.

"Will you please explain to me what in the holy ever-loving fuck is going on?" Stiles huffed at Scott.

"How old are you?" Scott asked in all seriousness. Stiles squinted his eyes at his best friend.

"Wha- Dude seriously? We've been best friends for how long? Since child birth? Does that mean nothing anymore?"

Scott groaned entering further into the room. "Answer the question. Please."

Stiles looked at the guy in front of him. He wasn't even sure this was the same Scott he knew before he hit his head. Scott looked like he'd matured or something. Which was impossible because it's Scott. He had the maturity of big six year old.

"14, Scott. Just like you. Are you feeling alright?" Stiles asked skeptically. Maybe Scott couldn't remember his own age and was covering up by asking him. Wouldn't be the first time Scott forgot something overly important like his age.

"Shit." Was all Scott muttered.

"What dude?" Stiles said. "Aw bro did you forget to buy me a birthday present? Again? Scott come on its one time a year." He snorted then his eyes went wide. "Wait! Did I miss my birthday?!"

Scott shook his head sadly. "No, I guess technically you missed two birthdays."

"WHAT?!" Stiles roared. The doctor said he'd been out a couple of days not two whole years!

"Calm down! I didn't mean it like that!" Scott rushed. "You seriously don't remember anything do you? You're what stuck at 14?"

"Stuck at 14?"

Scott nodded. "Yeah. You're 16. Almost 17."

Stiles' mouth fell open long enough for a family of flies to set up camp there if they wanted to. He store at Scott for a good full minute before he busted into a fit of laughter. He had to remember not to throw his head back but that didn't stop burying his face in his hands to try and cover the amount of chuckles he was producing. Stiles was pretty sure Scott had finally lost his shit.

"This isn't funny Stiles this is serious!" Scott yelled at him. But because Scott just looked like a sad puppy dog Stiles laughed some more, and a little bit more until Derek friggin Hale was back invading his room.

"He's telling the truth Stiles. You're nearly 17. There's nothing funny about this." Derek had said. Stiles just looked at the older man in amusement.

"Yeah buddy listen. It's totally funny. Because either a, you're lying. Or b, you're telling the truth and I just missed out on two years of my life. Which is the opposite of funny but I'm still gonna laugh anyway because this is what my life has become." Stiles shrugged.

No body spoke a word after his little rant, but Stiles didn't continue laughing because he was starting to see that Scott's explanation made more sense. He did look older, and now that Stiles was examining himself he noticed his legs had gotten longer and he was surprisingly more muscular. Seriously when did he start working out? Those abs weren't there before.

The two boys just stared at him as he continued to feel his face and arms and just everything. Maybe Scott was right.

Well _shit_.

Two years is a long fucking time. Apparently enough time for his dad to become sheriff, Stiles to get a more muscular body, and for him to become friends with an older more mysterious man. Who was still staring at him like he either wanted to punch him in the face or cuddle with him. Stiles still isn't sure what he'd prefer more.

"Okay. So I've missed two years?" Stiles finally clarified.

"Not exactly." The doctor answered. When the fuck did he get here. "You've only been unconscious a few days, but you've lost two years of memories."

Stiles swallowed noticing his dad, and Scott's mother had also entered the room. For the second time in his life he felt scared. The first was when he first found out about how sick his mother really was. He wishes she would get here. She'd make it better somehow.

"So what? I just forgot two years of my entire life because I hit myself in the head? Seriously?" Stiles breathed out. Everyone in the room seemed to share glance, except for Derek. His eyes haven't left Stiles since he entered the room.

"What's the last thing you remember?" The doctor asked carefully.

Stiles thought. Last thing he remembered. Hm. Well his dad dropped him off at home right after school. Then Scott was supposed to come over to play some new video game he got. Then they were gonna practice lacrosse. They were going to be freshman. They made a pact to make first line because everyone knew that anybody who was an anybody were first line lacrosse players. This was supposed to be their year.

But he doesn't remember Scott ever coming over. He was in the middle of cooking something when the doorbell rang. Bacon. That's what he was cooking. Then he went to get the door and… nothing. It just stops there.

"Son?" His father said. Stiles looked up realizing he still hadn't answered the doctor's question.

"Scott was supposed to come over so we could hang out. Play some video game he got and then lacrosse." Stiles said a little dazed. He looked at Scott. "Did we at least make first line?"

Scott's smile was small. "No. We didn't, we sucked."

Stiles frowned looking at his doctor when he spoke. "Well our only hope is that things will start to come back to you as your brain continues to heal itself. Memories are tricky things. Your brain could just be protecting you as it heals, so the better it gets the more you should remember."

He turned and addressed the rest of the group. "It will take time. So don't try and force him to remember certain things. His body isn't quite ready for it." He paused. "I haven't seen it a lot, but sometimes when the body is reacting to a great amount of stress it blocks out the things that cause it the most. Which is why I think his memories stop where they do."

"I don't get it why there?" Scott asked. Derek glared at him.

"Your wife she was still…?" The doctor trailed to Mr. Stilinski.

"Yes. Yeah, she was." He answered sadly. The doctor nodded, offered Stiles a sad smile then excused himself once again.

Stiles was a smart kid. His parents always told him that for his age (which is apparently 16) he had a good head on his shoulders. Even with the ADHD. He was good at figuring things out, like school problems and stuff, but more so bigger problems. So he was kind of pissed at himself that he didn't figure it out sooner.

"Dad?" he finally said. "Where's mom?"

* * *

_I'm sorry son, Genim, I am_. His dad had said. Stiles almost started crying on the sole fact that his father said his first name.

_No, no, no Dad you're lying! The doctors said she'd be fine. She's fine Dad, don't._ His voice had cracked at the end of his sentence making his dad reach over and hug him, in a way that he hadn't done since he was a little kid. Stiles heard his father break down first and he followed shortly after.

His mom was dead. Had been for over two years. And Stiles had just forgotten.

The sadness came first. He couldn't help it; no one in their right mind would've done anything differently. He had cried himself to sleep with his father still hugging him equal tears in his eyes, but when he woke up he was alone.

The room was dark, the only light shining through the small window in his closed door. That's when the anger hit him, so hard it felt like blood rising in his throat.

How could she leave? She _promised_. Everyone fucking promised she'd be fine. The doctors, his mom, even his dad had told him not to worry. What the fuck happened? How could they just lie to him like that? And his own mother, who had never told him a lie since he was old enough to understand what lying meant.

He didn't realize how tightly he was clenching his fists until he felt the warm heat pooling in his hands. He released his nails, wincing at the light amount of pain. It probably would've hurt more if he hadn't felt so numb.

He started crying again, he wasn't actually aware of it until it was happening. One second he was thinking about how unfair it was for her to leave him and his father and the next he was thinking about how he was never going to see her again.

How she wasn't going to see him play in his first lacrosse game, or take hundreds of pictures of him and his prom date. She wasn't going to see him graduate from high school, or wave to him as he left for college. She wasn't going to be sitting front row at his wedding, hold his newborn child, or just tell him everything was going to be alright.

She was just gone. Just like that.

The one person that he trusted the most in this world. Gone.

He brings his knees to his chest, digging his fingers in his bare legs and curling his head down as if it would somehow hide him from the world. He felt like his heart had been torn from his chest and curb stomped while he watched.

Then he started getting angry at himself. He was sitting here crying over something that happened years ago. He was bringing it up, making his Dad feel like… actually words can't describe what his father even _looked _like today. Heartbroken would be a start, but there was so much hurt, too much, you'd need a new word just to begin to describe his emotions.

Stiles didn't hear the door open, didn't see the light peer through because of his tightly shut eyes. He did feel a hand rest on his shoulder though, and heard soft words that sounded like they belonged to an angel.

"Move over." The voice had said. It was so calm and soothing that Stiles had to comply, not bothering to lift his gaze up from inside the cocoon he built with his own limbs. He slid over, feeling the thin hospital bed dip with the weight of the person. Soon after he felt an arm wrap around his back and a warm hand squeeze his shoulder.

The person didn't talk surprisingly, they just sat there with Stiles as he continued to cry, sometimes while he was rocking back and forth, sometimes leaning in to the persons touch for more comfort. After a while though Stiles' curiosity got the best of him and he looked up to see none other than Derek Hale sitting in his bed. Stiles got this odd feeling that maybe they were friends or at least acquaintances. Two years could change a lot, including the people he hung out with.

"So how do I know you again?" Stiles asked eventually, even removing himself from his ball of safety. His voice sounded like sand paper scratching together, to which Derek leaned over and grabbed the glass of water sitting on the small counter next to him. He handed it to Stiles and he gulped it down gratefully.

"We met a few months ago. You and Scott were trespassing on my property." Derek answered him. Stiles let his legs stretch out flat against the mattress while he scrunched together his eyebrows. That sounds like something he and Scott would do. Actually that sounds like something Stiles would drag Scott into doing. He twiddled the empty glass between his fingers.

"So we're like friends?" Stiles wondered aloud. He felt Derek's hand tighten briefly against his shoulder before it relaxed again.

He looked up at the older male waiting. The expression Derek had could only be described as pained. "No, not really. But yes."

"Was that even English?"

Derek grimaced. "Well we're just always here for each other. But we don't go around playing videogames and going out to the movies if that's what you're asking."

Stiles actually rolled his eyes at that one, placing the glass back on the counter making a light dink. "So you always snuggle with your 'just here' people? Or am I just special?"

"You definitely are special Stiles, trust me on that." Derek replied. Stiles watched his shoulders grow less tense and Derek's body fell back against the headboard softly. He wondered briefly what Derek would look like if he smiled, he had this feeling that he didn't do it often.

"So because I'm special I get to ask if you'll stay here with me tonight? At least until I fall asleep?" Stiles asked. Derek didn't answer but nodded once, tearing his eyes away from the boy and looking straight ahead as if something would manifest on the closed door and empty wall in front of them.

Stiles actually smiled a little because big and broody was an okay dude. He knew that Derek had lost his entire family in that fire, and even if it was longer ago then Stiles thought, he knew Derek still must've felt the pain. Stiles feels like that sort, well this sort of pain won't ever go away. It hurts too much. Maybe it just gets duller over time. Maybe you just learn to bury it.

His mom would've liked Derek. Even if he was a little serial killer looking, he was alright. He's pretty sure his mom would've tried to set him up on a date with Derek by now actually. Age difference be damned.

Stiles snorted at the thought, almost forgetting that his mom would never get that chance. But he didn't want to cry anymore so he pushed himself closer to Derek without waiting for any protests. Thankfully, he got none so he proceeded to rest his head against the man's shoulder. It made a nice pillow.

"Hey Derek?" he said. He felt Derek's arm slide down from his shoulder and rest against his hip.

"Mm."

"I think you'd make a great friend." Stiles didn't wait for the reply, he didn't need one. Instead he just closed his eyes and tried to fall into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

_He was sitting in school, lunch actually. Scott was busily talking his ear off while gnawing at the end of his straw. Stiles nodded along where appropriate, more focused on the greasy meal in front of him._

"_Mr. Stilinski?" A voice called. Stiles looked up, mid-chew, at the tall woman in front of him. Oh shit. The principal. Scott looked at him wide eyed because that crazy woman never left her office and when she did that meant whoever she was looking for was in deep shit. And Stiles doesn't even recall doing anything wrong. Well mostly, but whatever. _

_Helping Lydia blow up Jackson's frog in Chemistry doesn't count. Like not at all. _

_Stiles swallowed the gargantuan lump of food before speaking. "Yes?" he said. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve. _

"_Come with me please." She said all too politely. Stiles grabbed his backpack, shooting Scott a glance before following Mrs. Rocco out of the cafeteria. A couple of 'Oohs' and 'Ahs' were sent his way but nothing more. Sometimes it pays to not be one of the popular kids. _

_They got to the office quickly, it was only a hallway away and Stiles noticed two things right away. _

_One, his aunt Mary was sitting in the office. Stiles saw her once a year. Christmas. And considering he already saw her for that holiday there was no reason for her to be here. Especially at his school of all places. _

_He stepped into the office where Mrs. Rocco had opened the door for him. He looked at her big sad brown eyes before looking at his aunt Mary's. _

_The second thing he noticed was that she was crying. Well before she just had tear stains, but now as she locked eyes with Stiles she burst into tears again. _

"_Whoa, whoa, what's going on? Is it James?" James was Mary's son who was off in the war. He was all she had left since her husband died about six years ago. She shook her head though and if it were possible she cried harder. _

"_Oh, honey I'm so sorry." She said through her tears. Stiles just stared at her. "It's your mom sweetie." She continued. _

"_Is she okay?" Stiles asked immediately, his eyes going wide. _

_His aunt Mary pulled him into a hug, her stinky perfume clouding his nose. "I'm so sorry Stiles. I'm so sorry." She just repeated. _

* * *

Stiles felt his breath catch in his throat, his eyes stinging with newly weld tears. He remembered! He fucking remembered! His aunt Mary coming to pick him up, all the crying, going to the hospital to see his mother's lifeless body, how his Dad sat next to the bed with Stiles and just held his hand and wept.

He remembered.

Sort of.

Things were still fuzzy. Like really fuzzy. Because he can't exactly recall what happened after that particular memory. The last thing he can put his finger on is leaving the hospital, somehow making it home and collapsing into his bed. Then it just kind of stops. Like how yesterday it stopped at when Scott was supposed to come over.

Maybe it's coming back to him. All of his past and whatever. Maybe his mind doesn't need protection from certain things like the doctor had said. It could be trying to protect him from something else. But what exactly was that something else? What could possibly be worse than the death of his own mother?

The rest of his morning goes by quietly. Stiles tells the doctor about what happened to which the doctor says he can go home. That the surface wound on his head is nearly healed and his brain should be remembering things soon. Maybe. His doctor actually said maybe. His doctor also said that he might never remember particular events ever again. Which would suck, but then again it might not.

Whatever his brain was shielding him from was obviously far worse than death, which managed to scare Stiles. But he didn't want to bring it up, to anyone, because he didn't even want to know. Knowing would be far worse. Or at least that's what he convinced himself.

His dad dropped him off at home, apologizing profusely about not being able to stay with him. There had been another murder, one of many actually. From Stiles' knowledge there were never any murders before. Apparently that wasn't the case anymore. Lots of murders, deaths, kidnappings, you name it. He wondered what happened to Beacon Hills.

Short after his dad left Stiles found himself in his room just soaking it up. It looked a lot different, new posters on the wall, some guy on a snowboard. Stiles frowned. Did he even know how to snowboard? Stiles shook his head because no he probably didn't.

Stiles didn't know where to start. None of this crap was here before. It was like an entirely different person was living here. But his eyes caught the shiny surface of his laptop, making him smile.

His mom had gotten it for him three months before she got sick. Super early birthday present, she had told him.

He cracked it open and powered it up. As he waited he played with the things on his desk, flipped through the pages of a few odd books, before the screen loaded up and asked for his password.

He typed in his first name, hit entered and groaned when it said access denied. Shit. Well what would he have changed it to? He tried his mom's name next. No. Scott's name. No. Lydia's name. Nope.

"Dammit." He grumbled. He leaned over in his swivel chair, fishing his cell phone out of the bag that he brought home from the hospital. He scrolled through the contacts until landing on the appropriate one.

"Hello?" Scott answered after the first ring.

"Hey, listen, what's my computer password?" Stiles asked. He heard Scott chuckle at the other end.

"Last I remember it was Sourwolf. Try that."

Stiles frowned but typed in the password with one hand, using the other to hold his phone to his ear. He scoffed when it worked. Sourwolf. Hmph.

"It worked, I don't know why but it worked." Stiles remarked.

Scott let out an oddly strangled laugh. "Yeah. I got to go. Allison's here."

"Who's Allison?" Stiles asked.

There was a pause. "My girlfriend." He answered. "Sorry I totally forgot you-"

"You got a girlfriend before me?! What the hell dude? How did that even happen? Is she at least nice?" How did Scott, _Scott_, manage to get a girl before him. Or guy. Or whatever it didn't matter, how did Scott get a significant anyone before Stiles.

Scott laughed easier this time. "She's awesome man, trust me. We'll swing by later so you can meet her… er…. Again."

Stiles smiled. "Yeah sounds good, see you then." He hangs up before Scott can respond, tossing his phone across his room. Now that his head is still reeling with the thought of someone other than Stiles dealing with Scott's shit is fresh in his mind, he tries to block it out by looking at the gold mine that is his laptop.

A lot of things confuse him at first. Like since when did he have a sudden fascination with werewolves/lycanthropy and other creatures that obviously do not under any circumstance exist in his world. Maybe on _Supernatural_, but not in Beacon Hills. Anywhere else but here actually.

Stiles assumes that he just had another "thing" that he decided he wanted to know all about. He got those often, and it's nice to see that some things don't change. Like his short attention span. Though that really isn't an improvement to anyone else's standards.

But to him it is; it's his anchor to the real world. That he's still Stiles 'Please don't say my first name' Stilinski. It's refreshing.

But seriously though? Werewolves? Where did that come from? Why did he suddenly need to know what types of wolfsbane were most dangerous and 'pack behavior tips'. What even? He must've gotten really far on this borderline obsession. Usually he lasted a week. A week of useless knowledge on any specific subject.

He can name over 100 types of sexual infections all the way to how many matches Hulk Hogan won and who they were against. Like he said, useless but semi-important information.

He starts scrolling through his history, noticing more werewolf searches, a disturbing amount of porno, and something about a kanima. He just rolls his eyes because he doesn't even want to know, and clicks on his favorites bar.

Unsurprisingly there's a lot of porn, and werewolf tags. Surprisingly though, is the tab he named 'Crazy mother fucking hunters'. He clicks on that one.

He frowns looking at the page in front of him. It's an article about the Hale fire, which okay he's not gonna lie he totally looked into that after it happened. His dad's a cop, a sheriff apparently as well, so having the urge to find out everything in a mystery is in his blood. And from what Stiles' recalls, the Hale fire was the Holy Grail of said mysteries.

But not anymore. As Stiles reads the article he learns that a woman was blamed. Kate Argent. She killed Derek's entire family; elders, parents, uncles, aunts, children. The youngest was 3.

Stiles hates her. The sudden amount of anger that floods through him is unexpected. He's guessing because he knows Derek, or are at least 'friends but not really' in some parallel universe. But the other night he opened up to a practical stranger. A stranger who managed to make him feel safe enough to curl up against him and sleep even though he felt lost not only with the world but with himself. He hates this woman for hurting him. Someone he could see himself trusting.

But then he reads that she was killed. Found in the Hale house none the less and Stiles feels some sort of relief. Which disgusts him, because what person in their right mind sighs with happiness at the word of death. But then again, who wouldn't with how cruel and hateful this 'Argent' woman was.

He finishes the article and continues to stare at the screen. There's just too many emotions running through him, so many he doesn't realize there's a person standing behind him until he hears a small intake of breath.

He whirls around in his chair, ready to pounce on his attacker/rapist/murder/pedobear, when he sees that it's Derek.

"Oh for fuck's sake man, are you trying to kill me? I just got out of the hospital!" Stiles yells, clutching at his heart and breathing heavily. Derek just stares at him, hands shoved in the pockets of his leather jacket.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

Stiles quirks an eyebrow. "I was sad. We cuddled. I'm better now." he says. "Well better than should be expected. I remembered this morning." He adds as an afterthought.

Derek does his version of surprised which is basically his eyes getting slightly bigger and his left brow quirking up. He steps closer to him, his legs just centimeters from where Stiles' knees are bent in his chair. "You remember?" he clarifies.

"Well, I had a memory." He tells him, licking his lips. "Just when I first found out." He swallows. "About my mom. I remembered that."

Something happens to Derek's face, like he gets upset, or maybe disappointed. But he doesn't say anything, so Stiles just continues.

"Doctor said that I should get it back, but I might not. So basically it was his way of saying we have no fucking clue what's gonna happen kid but at least you're not dead."

Derek rolls his eyes.

"So can I ask you a question? Like being completely serious here okay." Stiles starts. Derek shrugs and nods. Well isn't he the silent type, Stiles thinks. "Why am I so obsessed with werewolves? Like am I part of a role play group or something? Like larping or some shit?"

Derek breaks his frown for a split second to smirk. If Stiles had blinked he would've missed it. "Just try and remember Stiles."

"But what if I don't!" he says throwing up his hands. Derek sighs sitting on the edge of Stiles' bed. "I mean doc said I might not, so I kind of want to know. Like right now, if you don't mind." He pauses. "Holy shit is it something bad? Are _we_ in a role play werewolf group? Oh my god we are! And it's like a sex role play isn't it! That explains all the porn!" he yells, eyes popping out of his head.

"Will you shut up? We are not in a role play group, what even…? Never mind, just don't freak out. Promise me Stiles, now." Derek's eyes are hard and honest but Stiles can see the thin line of panic he's trying to hide. Stiles freaks out internally a little because Stiles could never read people, like ever and he's sure that is one thing that wouldn't have changed in two years, hell in his lifetime, but he reads Derek like an open book. Yes, there is some confusing shit going on that Derek's hiding, but Stiles can pick up on his emotions.

Derek's still staring at him, and he should not be getting turned on the least bit, but he is, and it isn't like Derek knows he's half hard by his stare alone so fuck it he doesn't care. Okay, hold up, when the hell did Stiles become attracted to men? Does that mean Lydia still doesn't give him the time of day? Is he gay now? Oh right, the question, that's why he's staring.

"Okay, tell me." Stiles finally says.

Derek closes his eyes and breaths out deep. He doesn't want to show Stiles, he just wants him to remember. Needs him to. As much as he hates to admit it, he needs the hyperactive, Adderall addict back to normal. Derek almost laughs aloud because of all the times Stiles' mind could've decided to forget it's now. It had to be now, right? That was just Derek's life, his luck. He had to forget that he-

"Dude?" Stiles says.

Derek opens his eyes staring back at Stiles' wide and concerned eyes. Derek groans running a hand over his face before finally shifting into his Alpha werewolf form.

The look on Stiles' face could be comedic if it weren't so understanding. It was like he finally put all the puzzle pieces together. And he did, really Stiles understood, as fucked up as it was, he got it. I mean, at least his obsession with lycanthropy made sense. And there was some odd déjà vu about the whole scenario but he wasn't going to press that just yet.

Werewolves though? How in the holy hell did that make any sense to any universe in any time?

Stiles watched in awe as Derek, well werewolf Derek, tilted his head to the side as if he was waiting for Stiles to jump up and down and scream, cry, run and hide, just anything other than stare. But he couldn't help it.

"You don't eat humans do you? Like snack on the young and innocent?" Stiles asked, his voice too calm. He found himself leaning forward, instead of away, trying to actually get closer to Derek.

Derek scoffed, looking funny with his wolf-like features, making Stiles crack a smile. Derek shifted back, the extra hair disappearing, the angry red eyes fading to his deep green ones. He looked at Stiles expectantly.

"So you're a werewolf."

Derek nodded.

"And you're my cuddle buddy?"

Derek rolled his eyes.

"Does anyone else know?"

The next question made Derek think for a moment, but he wasn't going to keep the truth from Stiles. Not this time around, when he needed him so desperately to remember. So he settled on nodding slowly, holding up a finger to silence Stiles' next question.

"Scott knows." Derek told him, watching the boys features grow livid. "He's also like me. There's more of us. But you probably don't remember them. They were fairly new in your life."

"Seriously man?! Scott gets a girlfriend and gets to be some crazy mythical creature?! What fucked up world am I living in?" Stiles exploded his hands moving in front of him to show his frustration. Derek grinned in amusement, watching Stiles flail back into his chair, stretching his legs out so they were nearly against Derek's.

Why is it that Scott gets to be the badass here? He gets the power, the girl, shit that makes Stiles the sidekick, that makes Stiles Robin.

"_I don't want to be Robin all the time!" He moaned. _

"_Nobody's batman and robin any of the time." Scott retorted with his hand coming out in front of him in annoyance. _

_Stiles huffed. "Not even some of the time?"_

"_Just stay here!"_

"_Oh my god!" _

Stiles whipped his head around his room wildly. Jesus it felt like Scott was right there. But they weren't right there they were at the school, by a fence. Why, Stiles' doesn't know, but it happened, he can feel it. It was dark, there were school buses, and then Scott was climbing the fence like some sort of ninja. Why were they even at the school that late? When was that anyway? Was Scott a werewolf then?'

"Stiles?"

Derek's voice pulled him from his own thoughts. "When did me and Scott break into the school? And why am I Robin? I am so Batman!"

"You remembered again."

"Jesus Christ I feel like Dory, yes Derek I remembered a small conversation me and Scott had at some time on someday, do I get a gold star? A cookie? A pat on the back?" He knew he was being a bit overboard, but this whole living in two world's thing was really starting to piss him off. It was just so confusing. He needed some Tylenol.

"Sorry, I just, it's good. You remembering, the fact that it's happening at all. It's good." Derek got up then, almost too fast for Stiles' eyes to follow. One second he was sitting on his bed the next he was standing in the doorway. "There's a pack meeting tonight. You don't have to come, but you can if you want. Maybe being around them will help you. Plus they're all dying to see you."

"Pack?" Stiles said. Like an actual wolf pack? Really?

"Yes. Pack. You're part of it. So is Scott. He has to come so if you want just ask him about it." Derek said. His hands found his way into the pockets of his jacket, worn and leather. When did Stiles become attracted to leather? He shook his head internally, or at least he thought so because Derek was giving him a funny look.

"Yeah, I'll uh, talk to Scott about it." He decided. Maybe his best friend could help clear some things up. Like the whole werewolf thing, or the whole gay thing. Or maybe not, Scott was probably still the same clueless idiot he was two years ago.

Derek looks at him again, this intense stare like he's like trying to peer in Stiles' soul, hell with that look he's probably managing it. Then he gives one final nod and is out his door, in an eerie silent manor that Stiles guesses is just him.

Stiles doesn't know where to go from here. He's got the memory loss on one side. The refreshing news of the loss of his mom on another. Scott and Derek being werewolves over in the corner. The fact that these types of things even exists makes an appearance. Oh and then there's his big gay crisis. He's running out of places to put all his shit.

For some reason he starts with the gay crisis. He thought he loved Lydia, hell he still feels like he loves Lydia, but there's something off. Like when he was head over shit for the strawberry blonde who never so much as glanced his way, the attraction had been one sided. He'd loved her for not only her beauty but for her intelligence. She was the smartest person he knew, even if he didn't really know a lot of people.

But then there's Derek. A guy he met a couple days ago who claims to have known him for a while. They're some sort of friends. But friends don't cuddle or stare at each other like they want to whisper dirty sweet nothings in your ear. But then again, Derek did say that they weren't friends, so maybe this is how mutual relationships work? Yeah, no that's not making any sense but it's the best bullshit answer he can come up with right now so he doesn't have a panic attack.

Now werewolves. That's a tricky one, isn't it. Stiles is still processing the fact that they exist, really he'll probably never stop, but it's real. It's happened. And now he has to deal with it. So he does what he does best, he turns his chair back towards his still humming laptop and goes to work. Now he's actually pleasantly happy that he has all these werewolf websites saved in his favorites. Weird, but it's his life.

He reads everything, obtains everything, at some point he finds himself willing himself to remember all this shit because he has a feeling he once already knew it. It's like learning every word and definition in the dictionary and then someone decides that all the definitions are wrong and they change them and then you just sit there because you wasted half your life studying the dictionary. Not his best metaphor, but it'll have to do because he's still got a ton of reading to do.

From Alphas, betas, omegas, to wolfsbane, to hunters, to full moon cycles and pack dynamics and mating habits and a whole lot of information that makes him wonder about how it's even on the internet. His best guess is that most of it is just legend, old folklore and stories. He'll have to do a crash course session on werewolves 101, but for now Google will do.

He hears the door downstairs unlock and Scott's voice call out something that doesn't quite reach his ears. He shuts his laptop off quickly, bolting up to meet his friend. As soon as Stiles makes it down his stairs he realizes that Scotty's a werewolf, a werewolf with a girlfriend.

"Stiles!" Scott says. He's met with a bone crushing hug to which Stiles laughs at and feels how much warmer Scott is. Stiles guesses that body heat must be a wolf thing. Scott lets him go and he notices that there's a brunette girl shying away near his front door. She's got a big smile on her face that Stiles feels himself melt into. He didn't know what he was expecting in Scott's girlfriend, but she definitely makes a great first impression.

Scott looks at Stiles. "Oh! This is Allison. My girlfriend. But you know that. Even though you don't right now. But yeah." Scott says. He frowns halfway through in frustration and Stiles just laughs again, walking over to Allison and sticking out his hand for her to shake. She responds by rolling her eyes and giving him a tight hug as well.

"Oh Stiles I'm so glad you're okay." She tells him. He can hear the honesty in her words and he finds himself gratefully returning the hug. She lets him go, her hands resting briefly to squeeze his shoulders before wiping away the lone tear that escaped her. Stiles wishes he could remember her more, she seems like a nice person. He already thinks she's great for Scott. It's something he needs.

Stiles turns to Scott who has this dopey grin on his face. He realizes how utterly in love Scott is with this girl. He rolls his eyes because that's just so _Scott_.

"So listen my hairy friend, Derek told me all about your little monthly problem, the whole howl at the moon thing and what-not, but I just have one question." Stiles says. Allison laughs at Scott's startled expression and he manages a nod. Stiles sighs and runs his hand over his head. "How did it happen?"

Scott grimaces. "We went searching in the woods for a dead body. I got bit by a werewolf. There's really not much to it Stiles."

"Hmph." Is all Stiles says. "Did we find the body?"

Scott smiles. "I did. Then me and you dug her up later."

Stiles makes a look of disgust, wondering why he and Scott were trekking around digging up dead people, but somehow that makes more sense than freaking werewolves, so he lets it slide. Plus it sounds like something stupid him and Scott would do which eases his nerves a bit. Which should make him worry, but he just pushes that aside to deal with the more pressing matters.

"So were in a pack huh?" Stiles asks. Scott casts a glance at Allison to smile before turning it to Stiles.

"Yep." He says.

"And I'm part of it? Even though I'm human? Cause a lot of the stuff I read said only human mates are in werewolf packs and unless I have a mate I don't know about….?" He trails.

"Not that I know of buddy. But you're pack. So is Allison, and she's human." Scott's grin widens when he says Allison's name. Stiles realizes how gone Scott really is when it comes to this girl.

So he's part of a werewolf pack. No biggie. It's actually kind of cool now that he thinks about it. Everything he read said that packs were like families, and right now he could use that. And Scott is pretty much already his brother so how different can it be?

"When are we going? To the pack meeting? Derek told me to ask you about it. If I wanted to go that is." Stiles says. "And I do. I want to go. If that's cool?" Stiles doesn't know why he feels like he needs to ask Scott. Derek already said that Stiles was allowed to come if he wanted. He just needed to hear it from Scott though, it feels right to.

"We can head over now if you want." Scott smiles. He walks past Stiles and grabs Allison's hand while her other one twists the handle on his front door. "It's Allison's first pack meeting too I guess. Well the first one now, for you again, I mean. Well you know what I mean." Scott grumbles. Allison opens the door and Scott tugs her out with his huffs and trudging steps. Scott's head is starting to hurt with all the "Stiles has done this before even though he doesn't remember it" crap.

* * *

Scott pulls up to this abandoned creepy warehouse that looks like it should be holding the mafia not some teen wolves. Erica, Isaac and Boyd. Those were the other wolves names, or at least that's what Allison has told him on the ride over. She was nice enough to give him the crash course on what they looked like and they're personalities before they arrived. Stiles could already see a bright friendship blooming in their future.

When they get inside Stiles sucks in a breath to hide his nerves, even though Allison had mentioned something about werewolf hearing and Scott had merely nodded. Stiles notices the two empty looking train cars and two vaguely familiar faces playing some card game on the floor. He just sees Derek's head turn towards him when he's covered by a shower of blonde curls and the feeling of yet another super werewolf hug.

"Oh my god I missed you so much Stiles!" The girl said, Erica, Stiles was guessing. She let him go, letting him regain his balance only to be met by a blinding smile. She gave him another quick hug before grabbing his sleeve and yanking him over to one of the worn out couches. The one directly across from Derek actually.

"You know he doesn't remember right? That it's kind of a lost cause?" One of the boys who were playing cards quipped. Stiles saw him as the lighter skinned one with curly hair. Isaac. Abusive father, deceased, and a used to be fugitive. Also extremely sarcastic but more dark then Stiles' humor. Stiles could understand the reason for that though.

"Shut up asswipe. Derek said he could remember and this is me helping him remember." She growled her eyes turning a golden color. They faded as soon as she turned her gaze back to Stiles, a smile back on her face. She missed him so much.

"So not to be rude here, but how do I know you?" Stiles said, feeling terrible about having to deflate her happiness. That didn't seem to be the case however because her smile didn't even flinch. Stiles leaned back in the soft material of the couch, looking over at Scott who was whispering probably reassuring things in Allison's ear. She looked more out of place than Stiles and he didn't even know half these people.

"We're friends. Best friends. You even called me your lady bro like two days before you got your head whacked." She informed him. Stiles gave her a once over, wondering how in the hell he could've become friends with someone who had boobs that big and eyes that pretty. All he was told in the car about Erica was that she used to be a severe epileptic and even more of a loner than him and Scott were. Isaac and Boyd too. He found that hard to believe but then again he didn't remember anything about the odd little trio.

"Lady bro?" Stiles asked. "I actually used the term lady bro? I actually _found_ someone to call my lady bro?"

Erica beamed at that one. "Oh yeah. You said I was a better listener than Scott."

Scott glanced away from Allison to show Stiles his small pout. Stiles just chuckled. "Seems about accurate." Scott poked his tongue out like the child he is before leading himself and Allison down to sit on two empty crates.

Derek got up then, Stiles noticing how the card game ended abruptly, the boys facing the older man. Even Erica who was ready to jump out of her skin with excitement seemed to die out and turn her attention to Derek. The Alpha. That's what Scott said earlier. He was their Alpha.

"Alright so to start things off I want to first welcome Stiles back and welcome Allison into our pack." Derek said. He towered over them like a true leader, Stiles couldn't help but feel entranced by his words. "She is pack. She may come from _that type_ of family but she's with us. Are we clear?" he looked at his three betas, who nodded. They didn't like it, Allison reeked of a certain danger that they had learned to associate with Argents.

"With that out of the way I'd like to get down to business. Isaac?" He turned his head toward the young wolf, making everyone in the room do so.

"Jackson's still an ass. He won't accept our help but he hasn't killed in days. Or turned for that matter. Not with what me and Boyd can tell at least." He told his Alpha. Stiles thought the exchange was so formal yet Isaac seemed so comfortable to share what he had. It was as if he liked telling Derek the information he obtained, it showed in his features how he visibly relaxed when Derek gave a slight nod of approval.

"Erica?" everyone turned to her.

"I have no clue what the hell is going on with Lydia. I'm trying, really I am, but nothing fits. The fugue state, the immunity, but she keeps talking about Peter, your uncle?" she pauses and he nods for her to continue. "I think maybe she just has post-traumatic stress disorder. It's all that makes sense right now, but I'll keep a look out."

Stiles frowned in confusion. Why was Lydia involved in all this? And Jackson as well? Where did they fit? Derek began to speak again but Stiles raised his hand. He felt silly doing so but he also thought it'd be rude if he cut off Derek, Mr. Alpha, like that. Derek looked a little amused at his hand but nodded at him.

"What the fuck is going on here?" he started with since it fit most appropriately to his situation. "Where do Lydia and Jackson come into play? Who's Peter? What's Lydia immune to? What's Jackson turning into? Is he a werewolf? Why does he get to be a werewolf? And what type of family does Allison come from exactly? Who-" Stiles was cut off by Erica curling her hand around his mouth to stop his questions. She gave him a look before slowly removing her hand.

"I'll fill you in later." was all Derek said. Stiles tried to control his groan but it came out anyway. Derek rolled his eyes at him, turning towards Allison.

"Oh, uh." She stuttered. Scott squeezed her hand. "Gerard's is planning something. I'm digging, but it's not easy. I did however find a blueprint of your house in his safe which I thought was odd. But other than that nothing." She informed him. "Oh and Lydia is almost done translating the Bestiary, or most of it anyway. I'll have Scott bring it to you as soon as she finishes."

Derek gave another nod, and cast a glance at Stiles, who was still lost in all of this. Stiles watched as Derek licked his bottom lip, his eyebrows doing this funny little dance like he wanted to say more. He looked away from Stiles then back at Scott. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Erica smirk.

"Well that should be all for now." he sighed. "Scott?"

Scott smiled like the dork he is. "I brought Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. I thought since Stiles was back we could watch Batman cause it's his favorite."

"If you didn't have a girlfriend I'd kiss you right now." Stiles said. Scott continued to smile and handed Derek the two dvd cases he had pulled out from the inside of his jacket. Isaac rolled out a smallish tv while Erica pushed Stiles off the couch. He frowned at first but understood when Boyd, Erica and Scott moved the two couches together so they faced the tv.

Stiles had read about this too. Pack bonding. Derek gave the dvd to Isaac because he literally knew nothing about electronics and sat down on one of the couches. Erica all but dragged Stiles to the same couch, wedging him next to Derek with Erica at his other side.

There was enough space for the three of them comfortably, but Boyd decided he wanted to snuggle the fuck out of Erica so he sat down as well, making it nearly impossible for Stiles not to be stuck up against Derek.

He's not going to lie, and say he didn't enjoy it, because the dude was comfortable, so much so that when the movie started and little Bruce Wayne was running around with little Rachel he leaned into Derek. And he didn't mind it the least bit when Derek wrapped his arm around the back of the couch, his fingers rested just against Stiles shoulder.

He felt at ease. Which was a lot for him, given he was still upset over his mom and trying to grasp the werewolf thing. But he didn't mind being close to Derek because he managed to make Stiles feel safe. Much like the other night at the hospital.

It helped with Erica right up against him as well. The touch of another person who cared for you made his nerves calm down. He wasn't even worried that he was squished between two wolves that could kill him.

"Hey Stiles." Erica whispered. He moved his to the side looking at the girl. Boyd was fast asleep in the crook of her arm, one of his hands thrown across her stomach. "I don't know if you'll remember, but even if you don't, can we still be best friends?"

Erica had never had a best friend before, not before Stiles. And the thought of losing him made her chest feel like it was on fire. She was used to being rejected; epilepsy makes it hard for a person to gain friends. No one wants to be seen with the chick who spazzes on the ground and pisses her pants.

Stiles smiled at her, reaching over to grab her hand. "Course." He glanced at the tv again. "You can be the Catwoman to my Batman." He declared. Something flickered in her eyes before she just squeezed his hand back tightly.

"You make a good Batman." She told him.

It hit him again. That déjà vu thing, where suddenly he wasn't on the couch, but in the train.

_He had Erica rested against him, Derek's panicked face in view, with Scott crouched close by. And then Derek was breaking her arm, muttering something about triggering the healing process. Erica was screaming, louder when Derek pooled the blood out of her arm. _

_She had slumped back against him, her doe eyes looking exhausted. "Stiles, you make a good Batman." She panted._

And then he was back, sitting on the couch in the warehouse.

He didn't say anything this time, maybe he'd tell Derek later after he heard everything about what was happening during the meeting. So instead he just leaned back against the couch further, keeping Erica's hand in his as he nudged his head on Derek's shoulder.

Stiles didn't see, he was too focused on Bruce Wayne's house burning down, but Derek had smiled.

* * *

It was dark out when everyone had finally left the not so abandoned warehouse. And because Stiles didn't have a clue how long this conversational breakdown of the supernatural would take, he shot a quick text over to his dad saying that he'd be with Scott. Scott was actually going out with Allison, but apparently their whole relationship was a secret so it isn't like anyone knew about the date. They had this whole Romeo and Juliet thing going on for some reason.

"So where do you want me to start?" Derek asked. He came out of the train car, scratching the back of his head lightly. Stiles was still sitting on the couch, but the tv had been rolled away and the other couch was placed where it was when he first arrived.

"The beginning? I mean, dude, the only thing I understand right now is that you're werewolves and in a pack. That's it."

Derek walked over to where Stiles was sitting, and sat down at the other end of the couch. He was a little more than disappointed when Derek didn't sit closer, but right now he had to focus on werewolf drama and not his gay crisis. Priorities people. Priorities.

"Well you know I'm a werewolf, an Alpha. So I guess the appropriate place to start is in the now. With Jackson and Lydia?" he suggested.

Stiles nodded. "Yeah, what' going on with those two? Last time I checked Scott and I weren't even on the same radar as them."

Derek almost smirked, leaning forward and lacing his hands together while resting his arms on his knees. Stiles turned his body on the coach so he could face Derek, bringing one leg up on the couch, the other still resting on the floor.

"Lydia was attacked a few months ago, bit by the previous Alpha, but she didn't turn." Derek said. "She's immune and we think she's gotten PTSD over the whole ordeal."

"Then there's Jackson. I bit him, he asked for it, and then he didn't turn either. Something happened." Derek shook his head. "He turned into a creature called a Kanima. It's a cross between a werewolf and a lizard. We're trying to help him but Jackson's being-"

"Jackson?" Stiles cut in. Derek nodded a faint smile tugging at his lips. "So what about Allison? Why was everyone so uptight about her being here? Is it some kind of no girlfriends allowed rule or?"

He shook his head at Stiles again. He sighed out through his nose before continuing. "Allison comes from a family of hunters, werewolf hunters to be exact. But she isn't a bad person, she's more like her father to be honest."

"Her dad?"

"I wouldn't say he's a good man, but he goes by the code. Doesn't kill my kind without provocation." He said.

"So if she's good why was everyone all tense when you said she was pack?" Stiles asked. He still didn't understand what was so bad about Allison. So what if she was a hunter, she was probably the sweetest person he's ever met.

"As an Alpha my emotions reflect on them. They're taught to not trust hunters. Their family triggers a sense of danger to us. To the wolves."

"Yeah but why?"

Derek groaned. "It's my fault really."

"I'm lost. Really so lost here. Why is anything your fault?" Stiles said.

Derek put his face in his hands for a minute before running them through his hair. He sat up and turned towards Stiles.

"My family died in a fire when I was your age. Allison's aunt was behind it." He gave him the short version mostly because he didn't trust his voice at the moment.

"Oh." Was all Stiles could manage.

"Yeah oh." Derek leaned back against the couch, looking straight ahead. He was doing that thing again like at the hospital. Like something magnificent was going to appear where he was looking.

Stiles was at loss of words. He knew about the Hale fire, he remembered his dad taking about it when he was young. He remembers reading about it earlier, actually cursing himself because he saw the name. Kate Argent. She was dead, found in the Hale house not too long ago. Stiles didn't make the connection that a batshit crazy bitch like Kate could be related to Scott's girlfriend.

"Did you kill her?" Stiles asked.

"My uncle."

"When?"

"A few months ago."

They were silent for a bit as Stiles thought some more. So Allison came from a family of werewolf hunters, and was dating a werewolf. But she and her father were normal, but her aunt was crazy.

"Her whole family is hunters?" Stiles finally clarified. Derek gave a seldom nod. "Yet her and Scott are together?"

"They're making it work." Derek said.

Stiles frowned. "You think it won't?"

Derek turned to face him again because for a minute he felt like the old Stiles, calling him out on his thoughts without actually having to say them aloud. Stiles was even staring at him like he had done not so long ago, big and wondering brown eyes. It made Derek's heart clench because the wonderment had been for an entirely different reason then it was now.

"She's not his mate and he's trying to make the wolf choose her. It doesn't work like that." Derek told him.

"How does it work?" he asked. He'd read a few things online but he basically just got an abundance of kinky porn and knotting.

"It's complicated. Very complicated." The honestly behind his words stung Stiles' ears. He sounded so pained, though he didn't understand why. Maybe Derek was just truly upset that Scott and Allison would never be together. Stiles doubts that one because even if they are snuggle buddies Derek doesn't look like the type to get sentimental over teen angst.

"So does Scott have another mate? And he's like denying it?" Stiles wondered.

Derek did a mix between a shrug and a nod. "Somewhat. His wolf is responding, but he's trying to push his wolf back. It's working for now."

"But it won't for long?"

Derek shook his head and leaned back on the couch in a cat like manor, so unfitting for him, yet it worked. His arm stretched across the back so he was nearly touching Stiles. Stiles wanted to move closer. It was like magnets, like some weird gravitational pull.

"So how about your little band of misfits? Why did you turn the three of them?" Stiles asked. "And Scott? We were just looking for a body in the woods right?"

Derek's face visibly pained. "I didn't bite Scott, my uncle did." He sighed. He was getting frustrated, but he knew that Stiles was probably even more so. Of course he was, he was living off of old memories and working with the bits and pieces he got.

"And I changed them for power." He finished honestly. "At first that's what it was all about. The alpha instinct to make a pack was too strong. That's why I changed Jackson as soon as he asked for the bite. I needed a pack."

"But why Erica? Why Isaac and Boyd? Because they were alone?"

Derek nodded again and Stiles moved closer to him. His words were captivating, he felt like he was being sucked in.

"I knew it'd be easier to control them, make them feel like they had a sense of family. That's what being in a pack is truly about." Derek told him. His hand moved from its stretched out position and down to rest on Stiles' shoulder. Stiles raised an eyebrow to himself but relaxed into the touch, more so when Derek gave it a light squeeze.

Stiles liked this, it was comforting. He liked the way Derek kept his hand on him as he continued to talk about all the things that were going on, how he would sometimes move his fingers or stroke his thumb against the thin material of Stiles' long sleeve shirt. Stiles liked the way his heart seemed to pick up when Derek did this, it was weird, but in a good way. It made him feel whole.

Stiles was entranced through Derek's words as he learned about the Kanima, Allison's whack job of a grandfather and anything else that seemed to be going on to their pack. A lot of things were going on to be honest, but Stiles managed to keep up. If he could do it before he could sure as hell do it now.

When Derek had finally finished Stiles let out a long sigh. "Jesus Christ. How is this even my life?" he asked. This brings a small smile to Derek's face. Stiles checks his phone, seeing how late it is, mumbling a curse under his breath.

"I gotta get home. Can you uh give me a ride? Scott kinda drove me here." Stiles asks, eyebrow raised. Derek nods, getting off the couch in a fluent motion. Why does he have to be so fucking graceful? Stiles feels like an awkward giraffe walking next to Derek. It doesn't help when he nearly trips into Derek's shiny Camaro.

"Nice car." Stiles comments.

"Laura got it for me." he says revving up the engine. "My sister." He adds as an afterthought. Stiles nods, sitting back in the seat. Laura obviously knew her brother well, the all black Camaro is a perfect fit for Derek.

The ride is mostly silent, mostly because Stiles is still processing everything. He doesn't know what to say, and that's a big deal for him. He always has_ something_ to say. But he's got one too many thoughts right now. So many that he's barely aware of Derek saying his name, bringing him out of his head. He notices that they've stopped in front of his house.

"Oh. Sorry. Totally zoned out." Stiles apologizes. Derek rolls his eyes.

"It's fine. It's a lot to process in one night." Derek assures him.

"I'm more worried about the fact that I was totally fine with all this before. Like what's wrong with me?" he says with a nervous laugh. It comes out more hysterical if anything.

Derek looks at him. "You've got a big heart Stiles. You never had a chance."

Stiles runs his hands over his face in frustration because he has a point. He's always loved too much without expecting anything in return. He'd do anything for the people he cares about. And regardless of whether he's just getting to know them (again) he'd fight for them. This pack. He already cares for them.

"Yeah, yeah. Well thanks for the ride. I'll see you around?" Stiles asks. He tries to cover up the hope in his voice but fails miserably. The small tell-tale smile Derek gives is a big indication to that.

"Of course Stiles. Goodnight." He says. Stiles gives him one last smile before attempting to not fall out of Derek's car on the way to his house. He swears he can see Derek laughing at him as he unlocks his front door and Derek drives away. Only then Stiles lets himself breathe in. What a long fucking day, he thinks.

He walks inside, glancing at the tv that's still lit up even though his father is very much asleep on the couch. Stiles frowns, shutting it off and heaving his father up to stand.

"Come on Dad, you'll hurt your back." Stiles mumbles to him. His father just groans but let's Stiles help him up and half carry/half drag him up the stairs and to his bed. He hears a soft thank you when his dad thumps against the mattress, curling around himself to go back to sleep.

Stiles rolls his eyes shuffling into his own room and flicking on the lights, having to fight back the scream that's starting to form. He does flail his arms out though, his eyes comically wide, and a very unmanly squeak passes through his lips. After his heart settles back in his chest and Erica's smirking quite broadly, he allows himself to speak.

"Jesus Christ." He manages. He shuts the door to his room, shaking his head and turning to face Erica who's sitting indian style in the middle of his bed. "Is scaring Stiles in his room a werewolf thing? Does Derek make you practice or something? Is it part of your training?"

Erica rolls her eyes. "Course not. That's just part of my charm." Her smirk is as lethal as the glint of mischief in her giant eyes.

"So then there's a perfectly good reason why you were waiting in my room all by yourself?" he quips. He walks further into his room, sitting on the edge of his bed. Erica smiles at this because it feels like old times. Even if old times only happened once or twice there's a sense of familiarity that she's loving right now.

"We need to talk." She says. "About you and Derek."

Stiles pales and she notices. "Why?" he asks. That earns him an eye roll and a flip of blonde hair over her shoulder. She wonders how Stiles can be so smart yet so clueless sometimes. Is he really that oblivious?

"Well do you like him?" Erica asks.

"Yeah he's alright."

"No _like him_ like him."

Stiles looks at her eyebrows raised and his mouth slightly agape. "Since when did we go back to sixth grade?"

She huffs, grabbing both his shoulders and turning him so his torso is facing hers. "Do you want to get up on that Stiles? Jesus Christ. Make out, have sex, fall in love. Do you like him?" she repeats and a very low growl.

Stiles is a bit shocked at her choice of words but all he can do is shrug and offer a small confused frown. "I don't know." He whispers. Her shoulders slump a bit and her eyes show understanding. It's hard for her to remember that Stiles is out of it, overwhelmed with knowledge that he had two years to gain before. No one should have to go through so much in such little time.

She squeezes his shoulders, much like Derek was doing before back at the warehouse. This feels different though, with Erica he feels friendship but with Derek, it was just something else. His heart doesn't skip a beat or two when Erica smiles at him, or even when she removes her hands only to tangle them with his. This just feels so much different.

It feels like family. Like home.

"So does that make me gay? Cause I thought I was in love with Lydia. She was like the light of my life and now…" he trails shaking his head.

"You still like girls Stiles. You don't need to label yourself. I mean I noticed you staring at my boobs before but I didn't say anything cause I'm a good friend." She smiles sweetly when he flushes. Then she recalls the rest of his words. "And you don't feel anything for her anymore?"

She holds his hands tighter. "It just feels different somehow."

Erica nods because she gets it. She had a crush on the boy in front of her for the longest time. But then she got to know him, understand him, and she didn't want to be with him anymore, romantically at least. She wants to go shopping with him, watch every Marvel movie ever made with him, argue over comics, and then maybe go out to eat some waffles at an old diner in the middle of nowhere. She wanted him as a best friend, nothing more.

And plus her new found crush on Boyd was surely helping her get over Stiles, but that was beside the point.

"So how did we become friends anyway? Like you're hot and I'm, well, me." Stiles asked.

She laughed shaking out her blonde curls. "Because you're a dork. And so am I." she tells him. "And I didn't really look like this before I got the bite. I had epilepsy. The pills I had to take made me break out, gain weight, it was awful."

"Yeah Allison told me about that. So it's just like gone? It went away?" he asks.

Her nod is slow and unconvincing. "Sort of. I had an episode once, but that could've been brought on because of the kanima venom. We don't know."

_He's sees it again, the library being destroyed, Stiles by Erica's side, her yelling for Derek. It's chaotic, there's sparks flying, Jackson is half a lizard, and Erica's seizing on the ground. Then Stiles is yelling for Scott who gets to them, lifting Erica up and bringing them to Stiles' jeep. _

_He has to hold her steady in the back seat the entire ride to the warehouse, his hand tight on hers as she spasms through her tears_.

He can't help it when he comes back to where he is now. With Erica, who's looking at him oddly her head tilted. But she's not having an attack, she's fine. So he hugs her, practically tackles her with his body. She returns it with confusion, but she still holds him as tightly as he's doing to her, his head resting against her shoulder hers on his.

When he pulls away she raises a brow expecting an explanation for the sudden outburst of affection. He shakes his head. "Sorry, I just had a flashback or something and remember when you had your seizure. In the library, it was terrible, sorry, I just I was glad to see you were all right."

Her smile is warm. "And then you brought me to Derek."

"And he broke your arm. And then made you bleed out the venom or something. It was awful."

"And then I said you made a good batman. And that's when I knew we'd be best friends." She says. Stiles laughs at her and she joins in, sighing after a minute. "I should probably get going. My mom might actually notice if I'm not in bed." She gives him one final hug and before Stiles can muster a goodbye, a thank you, anything really, she's out the window and gone.

He chuckles, wondering what werewolves have against the invention of doors.

* * *

He starts groaning when his phone goes off at the ass crack of dawn. He fumbles around, swearing when he hits his hand against his nightstand, until he reaches the device. He doesn't bother a glance, because it's probably Scott or maybe Erica calling him.

"Don't you know that I enjoy sleep?" he says as soon as he's got his phone opened. There's silence and then a string of chuckles that don't belong to either Erica or Scott.

"I'll be at your house in 5 minutes. I owe you a breakfast." Derek says after he's done with his soft laughter. Stiles wonders if werewolves can hear heartbeats accelerating through a telephone line. Hopefully not, just to spare him some embarrassment.

"Owe me?" Stiles manages to ask. Why does Derek's _voice_ have to have an effect on him? And with Erica bringing his little crush out into the open last night it's kind of hard to ignore. Stupid Erica. Stupid teenage hormones.

It's odd how Stiles can practically see Derek gnawing his bottom lip. "Yeah, I uh, well before you hit your head you kind made me promise that if you lived I had to buy you breakfast." He explains.

"Lived what?"

"I'll tell you when I pick you up. 5 minutes Stiles." He hangs up and it takes all of Stiles' willpower not to throw his phone at the wall. But then he thinks, then smiles, because breakfast sounds awesome right now. And the person picking him up isn't so bad either so…

He throws himself out of bed, tripping over to his closet so he can get some fairly clean clothes. He changes quickly, getting himself to the bathroom in record time. He grabs his tooth brush, putting on too much paste, but shoves it into his mouth anyway. When he looks up at his reflection he's a bit startled.

He still looks so much older compared to his 14-year-old boyish features. He wishes he could remember, like now, because he feels like he's staring at a complete stranger. Yes he's still there, it's him, of course it's him, but he gets this overwhelming sense of wanting to go back and see the changes happening. He feels like he missed out on his own life.

He nearly chokes on his toothbrush when he hears the car horn outside. After a gag, he just ends up tossing it in the sink and heading downstairs to get to Derek's car.

He gets outside and slides into the passenger door, surprisingly without incident. He buckles his seat belt and turns to Derek to say 'good morning' to him. Derek's staring at him, a slightly amused smile on his lips.

"You've got some…" he trails. His fingers reach out to brush the right bottom corner of Stiles' lip, staring at him quite hard as he does so. He must've got it off Stiles' mouth because next thing he knows Derek's wiping his finger on Stiles' red hoodie.

After trying to control his blush, and Derek starting the car and driving away from the Stillinski household, Stiles finds his words. "Dude, I love this sweatshirt." Stiles paws at where Derek rubbed in the toothpaste.

"I know, you and your irony." Derek mumbles to himself. Stiles catches it, but doesn't press, and instead changes the topic.

"So where are we going anyway? For breakfast I mean?" he asks.

"Diner. I owe you a stack of pancakes." Derek smirks. Stiles' smile is confused, because he's definitely missing some pieces, but hey, pancakes are awesome. And free pancakes are better. And he's with Derek. He's so gonna get shit from Erica on this later.

They rest of the car ride is oddly silent, but it's a quick one so Stiles doesn't mind too much. He's busy thinking about harboring his stupid crush on Derek long enough until he gets his memory back. Or maybe for the rest of his life. Hell, he did it with Lydia, he can do it with Derek too.

Stiles smiles wide when Derek pulls into his favorite diner, how Derek knows it's his favorite is irrelevant because they're here.

They get inside, get a booth for two, and are soon ordering their food. After they get their drinks Stiles starts talking again.

"Dude, you're my new favorite. I mean, breakfast at Rita's. _Pancakes_ at Rita's. Are you sure we're not secret best friends in the secret best friend society? Cause only Scott knows about this place. It's sacred." Stiles explains.

Derek offers a roll of his eyes. "You told me about two months ago."

"So we are best friends, and you're just too thick to admit it." Stiles presses, gnawing on the straw of his drink. Derek just shakes his head with his best sourwolf face on.

"I hope Erica isn't bothering you too much." Derek says out of nowhere. Stiles cocks his head to the side.

"Did you talk to her this morning…?" Stiles asks.

Derek frowns. "Uh, no, I can smell her. On you. It's a wolf thing."

Stiles purses his lips at the look of embarrassment on Derek's face. "Oh, well that's not creepy. But no she's fine. We're friends."

"I know, but she can be a bit-"

"Intense?" Stiles cuts off. Derek nods along as their food arrives. The waitress smiles politely before leaving the two boys, and it's all Stiles can do not to moan out loud at the smell alone of his pancakes. He must've actually made some sort of obscene sex noise though, because Derek's got a constipated look from him trying to hide his amusement.

Stiles doesn't care though, because this is Rita's pancakes, and jesus fuck they're the best thing ever created.

"Holy hell, these are," Stiles says through large bites. "I can't even. Just ugggnnhhh."

Derek stares at him for a minute, but Stiles just continues to eat as obscenely as possible. He ends up just shaking his head and going to his own short stack of fluffy pancakes.

Stiles breezes through his food, sitting back and literally rubbing over his belly. Derek just continues to eat slowly, glaring at Stiles when he perks up to steal his bacon. How he can still be hungry after eating that mountain that was in front of him before goes way over Derek's head.

"I think I'm pregnant." Stiles says, biting off a piece of bacon. "With like a food baby, that's gonna put me into a food coma."

Derek looks at him pointedly.

"Right, coma jokes, not funny. Considering I was in one. Right." Stiles says. Derek wipes his face with his napkin throwing it on his plate. Something's bothering him, Stiles can tell. He seems a bit twitchy. Well twitchier.

"Dude you alright?" he asks.

"Fine."

"No you aren't, what's wrong?"

"I said I'm fine."

"Sourwolf."

_He's by his jeep, Derek over by his Camaro. They're in the school parking lot, it's dark out, with Scott standing close to Stiles. _

"_Shut up."_

"_Don't be such a sourwolf."_

_And then Stiles watches him die, watches a monster come up and pierce his claws through Derek's back. Enough to make a disgusting amount of blood pour from Derek's mouth. The beast tosses Derek like he weighs nothing, and Stiles just stands in horror until running with Scott towards the school. _

"Stiles?" Derek's voice is loud, and thankfully in the present.

"You died. That night at the high school, you died. How are here, you, and the blood, and just-" He heart rates picking up, booming in Derek's ears almost painfully.

"Stiles, calm down. Breathe." He says. Stiles does so, watching Derek's wide eyes relax after he's done so. Stiles doesn't realize he's gripping Derek's jacket like it's his lifeline until after he's let out his breath. He loosens his grip, but otherwise doesn't let go just yet.

"I healed." Derek finally answers. "It took a while, but I managed to heal before the full moon."

"You had to help Scott." Stiles concludes. The corner of Derek's mouth lifts up into a sort of proud smile, but he doesn't say anything. "And hey, you never told me what had your panties in a twist."

"My panties…" Derek repeats. "I told I was fine, and then you argued, making you nearly have a panic attack. Do you really want to go over all that again?"

"Hey! At least I remembered. That's something, right? I mean, yeah, I nearly broke down in my favorite diner, after an orgasmic meal, but still! I'm gaining back something." he finally lets go of Derek's jacket, but brushes his fingers against the back of Derek's knuckles. Stiles must be high, because he's almost positive he saw the man blush for a second.

Derek, being the silent brooding man he is, says nothing, of course, and just sits there staring at Stiles. The check comes soon though, so awkward staring contest avoided, and Derek takes it.

"How much?" Stiles asks going for his wallet.

Derek quirks an eyebrow. "I told you I owed you breakfast, which means I pay."

Stiles sighs, but sits back in his seat because there really is not point in arguing with this man. "What did you mean anyway?" he asks. Derek looks at him confused. "Before on the phone. You said that I told you that you owed me breakfast if I lived." He continued. "What exactly did I live?"

"When you hit your head." Derek answers.

"I fell down the stairs."

Derek frowns. "No. You didn't."

"Then what the hell happened?" he presses. He sits forward, leaning his elbows on the table. Derek's visibly tensed, probably having an internal battle in his own mind. "Jesus, dude, I can handle it tell me."

The older man lets out a sigh. "Hunters is what happened. Not Argents, but a different group. They reside about an hour north of here and had heard of our pack. They tried to attack us at the ware house, we had a pack meeting, everyone was there. I told you to stay inside but-"

"I didn't listen."

Derek huffs. "No, you didn't. You heard Erica screaming, she got electrocuted, and you rushed out to try and help. One of the hunters saw you, tried to shoot you, but Isaac jumped in front."

"He did?"

Derek nods. "Allison took the hunter down, and you went to Isaac. There was another hunter behind you, and I tried to call out, but it was just too late." His voice is pained, as if Derek was reliving the moment all over again. Stiles wondered if that's what he looked like when he was seeing another memory.

"What happened?"

"Hunter cracked you over the head with the butt of his gun. You didn't even see it coming." Derek tells him.

Stiles runs a hand over the back of his head reflexively, wincing because it still does hurt. It makes more sense that he got hit over the head with a gun, falling down the stairs wouldn't have caused this much pain.

"I thought we lost you." Derek breathes. It's barely above a whisper, but Stiles heard it loud and clear. He reaches across the table and grabs Derek's hand, surprising the both of them.

"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." He says.

_There's gunfire, loud in Stiles' ears. Derek has Stiles face between his hands, staring at him as if it will get his words across even more. _

"_Stay here." he says. "And if they come in here, run, okay? Promise me." _

_Stiles nods. "I'm not going anywhere." He tells Derek. The other wolves are already headed towards the door, Allison grabbing her bow. "And hey, if we manage to live this you owe me pancakes alright?" he says. "Don't worry about me, go." Derek gives him a final look before running to meet his pack. _

_There's growling from the wolves, shouting from the hunters, and lots of gunfire, screaming from both parties. Stiles fidgets, he stands up, he paces, because what if someone gets hurt? He's pack, Derek told him, Erica calls him pack mom, he's supposed to protect them as much as they protect him. _

_But then again that's exactly what Derek's trying to do right now. He doesn't want Stiles out there because he's a weak human who can't do much against trained killers. He knows this, but when he hears a howl, painful and hurt, he doesn't think he runs. _

_He knows it's Erica before he's even out the door. He's heard her scream in agony before, but this time it seems worse. And when he gets outside, it's just that. _

_There are at least 6 dead hunters, and a bloodbath going on. Scott's fighting off two hunters, Allison is helping Boyd take down another, he can't see Derek or Isaac, but Erica he sees too clearly. She's on the ground, no longer wolfed out, but twitching in pain with light blue currents shooting across her body. _

_Stiles goes over to help her, pulling out the wires that are still attached to her chest, wincing when he gets shocked. _

"_Stiles run." Erica lets out. He doesn't question her, and gets up only to be met with a hunter standing no less than 20 feet away pointing a gun directly at him. _

_It happens so fast that if he had blinked he'd of missed it. One second there's a hunter with a gun, shooting a bullet at him, the next Isaac's lying on the ground from being shot and the hunter's got on arrow in his chest. _

_Stiles shakes his head and rushes over to Isaac praying the bullet isn't near his heart. He's got wolfsbane in the warehouse, he can fix this. _

"_Stiles!" _

_Derek's voice cuts his train of thought and he looks over to see the Alpha rushing towards him, wolfed out and bright red eyes. But then everything goes black, and nothing seems to exist anymore. _

"Oh my God." Stiles says as soon as his mind is back at the diner. His hand is still in Derek's but he's gripping it hard enough that he might actually draw blood from the werewolf.

"You saw the fight." Derek realizes.

Stiles just nods in stunned silence. This memory hit him harder than the other ones had. For one it was longer, he remembered more details about this one. He wishes he could remember everything before that, because this feeling, the one where he just feels so completely and utterly lost, is making him feel weak.

He feels useless, because he doesn't know the half of what's going on in his life. Derek can only fill him in so much, and he can only adapt to things to a certain level. He feels fragile and pathetic because he remembers what it felt like to be strong.

He remembers what it felt like to go out there, to help Erica, to know that if the hunter hadn't hit him he'd have been able to help Isaac.

But now? Now he doesn't know what he's capable of. He doesn't know how to help.

"I want to go home." Stiles finally says. He doesn't look at Derek, but removes his hand from the Alpha's, getting out of the booth as if it might suffocate him even further. Derek's close behind him as they go back to his car.

Stiles had just gotten his hand on the passenger side door when Derek stops him, his hand going over Stiles'. He looks up to see the man closer than he thought, concerned and worried for the boy in front of him.

"Stiles." Derek starts.

"Don't, I just, take me home? Please? I don't want to remember anymore, okay? I'm done." He says. He's tired of these flashes of painful memories, it makes his head hurt even more than it already is on its own.

"Don't say that, please, Stiles, you can't give up okay? It's not all bad. I promise." Derek looks pained. He stands up tall, boxing the teen against the Camaro's door. "Please." He says again.

He sounds so desperate, so full of need, that when Derek drops his head on Stiles' shoulder he lets him without a word. Derek's hands find the boy's hips as he sniffs against his shoulder and up to his neck.

"It's not all bad." He repeats. "There's good, I promise. I wouldn't bother trying if there wasn't." His breath is hot against Stiles' neck, full of desperation and need.

Stiles swallows. "Like what?" he asks lowly. Derek perks up, letting their eyes meet. "What's one of these good memories?"

"You threw Boyd a surprise birthday party." Derek says automatically. "And you tried to teach Erica how to drive." There's a hint of a smile when he says that.

"Yeah?"

Derek nods. "There's good memories I promise. I don't want to tell you them all now though, because I want you to remember okay? Because if you don't it won't feel real, that these things we tell you, they won't feel like your own thoughts. It'll just be stories we told. I want you to see them for yourself."

His words are full of honesty, and Stiles feels a tug at his chest. It's like his heart is trying to tell him something, like it's recalling a memory of its own. Stiles thinks maybe it's this feeling that's he's remembering, that his body felt this way before.

That gives him hope, because this, this sense of truth is something that can keep him going. If there's good, he wants to see it, even if he has to go through the bad first.

Derek brings him back home after their extremely emotional and eye-opening heart to heart. He promises to come by later, saying he has to help Isaac and Boyd train today. He doesn't want to be alone though, not now, so he calls up Erica who is eager to come over for a bit of R and R.

They play video games, Erica kicks his ass 9 times out of 10, they watch _Zombieland _and then order a pizza around dinner time.

Erica is a lot like Scott, except she's much brighter and a bit more enthusiastic. And Stiles can't really talk about boys, or well boy in his case, with Scott but he can with Erica. He wishes he had gotten a lady bro a long time ago.

"So you held hands. And then later he sniffed your neck." she says. She's sitting on his bed, in a pair of his sweats that she stole seconds after she arrived, with a slice of pizza in one hand and a judgmental eyebrow raised. "Well why didn't you kiss him?"

Stiles fights back choking on his piece. "Dude, I've got amnesia. Why would I go around making out with a guy that I don't even think likes me back?"

"Trust me it's mutual. Just save us all the trouble and go for it." She grumbles.

"How do you know?"

"Because you idiots were dancing around each other for months Stiles, months. And you two were so fucking close to actually fucking, and you had to go and get bitch slapped by a hunter. Just man up and do it." She growls.

Stiles frowns. "Really?"

Her growl is more of a groan this time. "Yes, really. Is it really so hard to think that someone would like you back? Just cause you went after Lydia for half your life doesn't mean that everyone's a cold and heartless bitch when it comes to having actual feelings." She says. "And I know Derek may have an emotional range of a brick, but he likes you. Fucking go for it."

Stiles can't help but smile. "He said he was coming over later." he glances at the clock. "Well soon, I guess."

Erica's grin is devilish. "Good. And if I find out you two didn't at least round first base, I will take it as my duty to lock you two in a closet or something until you bang. Okay?"

"Sounds good." He agrees.

They play for a while after that, arguing shamelessly back and forth. Stiles picks up that Erica has a crush on Boyd and she doesn't know what to do about it because she's never really had any chance of getting with anyone before. Stiles plays the whole just go for it thing, because if Stiles is going to get rejected at least one of them should be happy.

Erica just rolls her eyes, and she's about to say that Derek's practically in love with him, but she shuts her mouth because the man himself appears. Stiles doesn't have keen werewolf senses though, and doesn't realize that he's standing right next to him, causing flailing and falling of sorts.

The blonde wolf gets off the bed, giving a mock salute to Derek. "He's all yours." She says. She jumps out Stiles window, landing with a soft thud on the ground below her.

Stiles gets himself off the ground, wiping off the pizza crumbs that were lingering on his sweats.

"Have a good time?" Derek asks. He's smirking in amusement, taking off his jacket and tossing it on Stiles' desk.

The teen just glares at him. "It was lovely until I nearly had a heart attack."

"Don't be so over dramatic, if I wanted to scare you you'd know it." Derek says.

"Is that a threat?"

"Oh no, you'd know if it was a threat too. This is just fact."

"Asshole." Stiles mumbles. He flops down on his bed, grabbing the remote and flipping channels. He looks at Derek who's still standing up. "Well are you gonna join me or what?"

Derek does so, wordlessly of course, slipping off his shoes before sitting next to Stiles. He crosses his ankles at his feet, his arms across his chest and locks his eyes with the tv.

They watch a bit of _Criminal Minds_, until Stiles turns to Derek. He really can't take it anymore, because if Erica was right, then hell, what has he got to lose? And if she isn't then it'll be awkward for the rest of eternity, but at least he'll know for sure.

"So Erica says that you like me as much as I like you." Stiles says. Derek turns to him, wide eyes, mouth slightly agape. Well, he obviously wasn't expecting that. "She also said that she'd lock us in a closet so I'm just gonna…" he trails.

He leans over, slow enough for Derek to back down, but when he just continues to stare, Stiles finds his courage and pushes his lips against Derek's.

Derek's lips are softer than Stiles imagined and Derek isn't backing away, but instead kissing back. And Stiles thinks this just a trillion times better and he's going to have to bake Erica a cake or something. But all of his thoughts seem to stop at once because suddenly Derek's gripping the back of Stiles' head and pulling him in deeper.

As soon as Stiles opens his mouth, Derek's tongue finds its way inside, pressing against his own. Stiles reaches over to grab Derek's hair, which seems to cause a chain reaction of Derek pushing Stiles further down onto the bed and hovering over him.

Stiles legs fall open making it easy for Derek to rest in between him while he practically gnaws off Stiles' bottom lip. He's going to have stumble burn tomorrow, and Jesus Christ he's going to love it. Derek presses a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth before swooping in to Stiles' neck.

There first nip takes him by surprise, making Stiles groan and tug at Derek's hair. He bucks his hips up involuntarily, swearing Derek's name as he continues to suck a mark onto Stiles' skin.

Derek's fingers starts digging into the teens hips, rubbing under his shirt. Stiles guesses that Derek must finally be satisfied with the monster hickey he now has because Derek finds his way back to his lips.

It's slower this time, more sensual, easier. Stiles can practically feel how red his lips are when Derek pulls away.

Stiles groans. "Why are you stopping? Seriously in no universe stopping would be an option." He tries to tug him back down but Derek doesn't budge.

"We shouldn't have done that." Derek rises more off him, but Stiles keeps a hand around his back to keep him in place.

"Done what? That whole making out thing? Cause I'm pretty sure that it was awesome and should be repeated as often as possible."

Derek groans, unfortunately not from arousal but frustration. "You barely know me. Whatever Erica said to you made you think that you want this but you don't. You hardly remember me, Stiles."

Stiles scoffs. "Barely know you?" he repeats. "Are you kidding me? I watched you die Derek. I've watched you save Erica, I fucking cuddled with you when I was sad, and you took me to breakfast at my favorite diner. We snuggled on a couch dude."

Derek just stares at him so Stiles continues.

"And so what? I know I like you. I've liked you since that first night at the hospital. I'll remember, and even if I don't I want this. I want you, so stop trying to ruin it with your sad broody face and just kiss me."

He breathes out a long breath searching Derek's eyes for a minute, but they close as soon as his lips make contact.

"_What the hell are you waiting for Derek?" Stiles is pressed against the train car in the empty warehouse. Derek had him by the shirt collar, his face inches from the younger man's. _

"_Waiting for?" he asks. _

"_Yes, blockhead, waiting for. Me and you? This whole flirting game we got going on?" Stiles says. "And don't tell me this is one-sided man, cause I know that feeling, and hell this ain't it." _

_Derek's grip tightens on his shirt. "What to do you want?" his voice is low, his eyes locked on his lips. _

"_What the fuck do you think?" he retorts._

"_Stiles, if we start this it's not for some quick fuck. You understand me? If you want this, it has to be serious. I don't do causal." Derek responds. _

"_Good because neither do I." is all he says. Apparently it's enough because Derek's on him within seconds, sliding his mouth hot and possessive across his. _

"Fuck." Stiles mumbles against Derek's lips. The man seems to growl in agreement, tossing his own shirt over his head. Stiles guessing during his memory he somehow lost his shirt and his pants because he feels extremely more naked than he remembered being before. Not that he minds though.

"Shit my dad." He starts.

"Got called in 20 minutes before I got here." Derek responds, sucking an aggressive hickey on his chest. Stiles grips his sheets with one hand the other on Derek's hair. Which seems to be his new favorite place to hold if he's being honest.

And then Derek literally bites his chest and fuck who knew he had a biting kink? Or a marking kink for that matter?

"You're in too many clothes." Stiles manages to breathe out. He feels Derek chuckle against his skin and he gets off, stripping off his pants and boxers in one motion, and fuck Stiles isn't sure if he's ready for this.

"_That's not gonna fit." Stiles mumbles getting his first eyeful. "There is no way in hell your dick is gonna fit in my ass. And for the love of god tell me you don't have a knot."_

_Derek rolls his eyes, pulling Stiles' boxers off and now they're both naked and Stiles doesn't know what to do. Being a virgin sucks but looking at the size of Derek's dick he's contemplating on being a virgin forever, but then Derek's mouth is wrapped around his cock, and yeah fuck that let the deflowering begin. _

"_Shit." Stiles groans. Derek hums around him, the vibrations shooting from his dick to his spine. He sucks him quickly before pulling off with a loud pop. That tease. He reaches over to his jacket pulling out the bottle of lube. He squirts some on his fingers and in seconds has them pressed against Stiles' hole. _

_Derek leans down to press a kiss against his lips, working his first finger in. "Relax." He whispers, kissing him again. And yeah, Stiles finds the finger up his ass a bit uncomfortable, but then Derek starts moving it around and slowly sliding in a second one. Fuck. Him. _

"_Oh my god." Stiles moans. He grabs at Derek's back, pushing him further against his lips and slowly rocks back on his fingers. He's surprised he hasn't come already. More so when Derek adds another finger and starts fucking curling them and fuck he's going to die. _

_Derek presses a kiss to his neck and gets the lube again, this time putting it on his cock. He lines up and even though Stiles doesn't say anything he must be able to smell the nerves because he stops. _

"_If you want to stop…"_

"_No! Dude I want this. You. I'm just worried about the pain, I guess." Stiles reassures him. Derek kisses him again, softly, stroking his cheek with his thumb. _

"_I got you." _

"I got you." Derek says. Stiles is on his stomach, spread eagle, Derek pressed against his back. His mouth is at Stiles' ear, reassuring words and all.

"I know. I know." Stiles groans. And then Derek pushes into him, lips on the back of his neck, hands on his hips. Derek doesn't move, letting Stiles adjust.

Derek mouths at his shoulder. "You okay?" he whispers.

"Yeah. Move."

_Stiles moans loud as soon as Derek starts to actually fuck him. He feels like his body's being torn apart in the best way possible. He reaches up, grabbing at Derek's back, practically etching his nails into his skin. Derek bites at his collarbone, licking a line up to his neck. _

"_Derek." He groans. If possible he's managed to get in deeper and pull Stiles closer, thrusting into him repeatedly. Stiles is going to have bruises on his hips tomorrow from where Derek's holding onto but he doesn't care. It feels fucking fantastic. _

"Stiles." Derek moans, thrusting into him again. Stiles tries to meet them, fisting the sheets in his hands. Derek bites a mark onto his back, grabbing Stiles' cock.

"Fuck, Derek, please." He pushes his cock further into Derek's hand and fucking whimpers when he tightens his grip.

Derek pushes into him again, teeth latching onto his shoulder blade as he grounds out Stiles' name like it's a prayer. Stiles can't hold on any longer, coming hard in Derek's hand, feeling Derek come inside of him seconds after, and shit is that hot.

He slumps onto his bed and Derek falls against his back panting into his neck. He lays there for a minute, catching his breath, until pulling out and rolling off of Stiles, landing next to him on his back.

"Dude," Stiles starts. "Let's have sex all the time."

Derek laughs. Honest to god laughs, rolling on his side and placing a hand on Stiles' back. "Sounds like a plan."

Stiles smiles, pushing up on his elbows. "I remembered our first time." He says.

"Yeah?" it's funny how Derek sounds almost shy.

Stiles nods. "Yeah you were definitely right about not all my memories being bad."

Derek smiles at him.

"And when was it anyway? Because Erica was under the impression that we didn't do like anything." Stiles asks.

"About two days before you hit your head. You wanted to wait to tell your Dad first before you told the pack. You never got the chance to though." He responds.

"Oh." Stiles frowns. "Well that's gonna be fun."

Derek rolls his eyes, along with his body, getting himself off the bed. He pads over to the bathroom and Stiles watches his boyfriend? Yeah, boyfriend, get a wet towel and toss it at him. He cleans himself off wordlessly, throwing it to the side when Derek slides back into bed.

"You're staying?" Stiles asks. Derek tugs at the teen's waist, bringing his back against his chest. "And we're spooning?" he continues. Derek grunts in his ear. "Can I be the big spoon next time?"

"Go to sleep."

"Please."

"Stiles."

"Derek."

"Fine, now go to sleep."

* * *

When Stiles wakes up he thinks he still might be dreaming because he's cuddling with Derek Hale, who seems to actually really enjoy snuggles and cuddles of all sorts now that Stiles thinks about it. He's got his head nestled against Derek's chest, an arm slung around his waist and their legs intertwined under the blanket.

He looks up to find Derek already staring at him.

"That's not creepy at all." Stiles comments, there's a smile on his lips though, one that Derek returns. He tightens his grip on Derek's waist, borrowing his head further against his chest. Stiles tries to ignore the way his heart picks up when Derek runs his fingers down Stiles' bare back. He knows Derek can hear it anyway.

They lay there in silence just enjoying each other's presence. Stiles thinks it's nice, relaxing, or tranquil even. There's something that's just so easy about Derek. It's simple to just lay with someone you care about, knowing that they share the same feeling. It's very new, but Stiles likes it. He likes it a lot.

"So…" Stiles starts.

"I knew the silence was too good to be true." Derek mutters.

Stiles chuckles. "Yeah, yeah sourwolf joke all you want."

Derek presses a kiss to his hair, letting Stiles feel his light smile. "We need to get up."

"Ew, no, why." Stiles holds Derek tighter and throws his leg over the Alpha's even though it wouldn't help much with his supernatural strength.

"Erica's throwing you a surprise party for being alive or something because according to her the pack meeting wasn't good enough."

Stiles sits up to look at Derek.

"Surprise." He mumbles.

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Thanks, dude, really. What time?"

Derek glances at the clock. "Like an hour."

"We can do a lot in an hour." Stiles smirks. Derek raises a suggestive eyebrow. "Like a lot." He says again. He kisses Derek's chest softly, hearing the older man sigh before biting down hard. That earns Stiles not only a growl but the action of getting pinned to the bed and a hot mouth against his.

A guy could get used to this.

* * *

They arrive at the warehouse late, because apparently shower sex was a thing for them now, but no one seems to mind when they all jump out and yell 'Surprise!'.

Stiles doesn't have to fake the broad grin on his face, seeing the entire pack there happy and smiling at him. Scott is the first to run over and engulf him in a super-tight werewolf hug. Erica comes next, lifting him off the ground. After she sets him down he sees her knowing smile as she looks over at Derek who's talking to Boyd, then back at Stiles.

"Fucking finally." She whispers to him.

Stiles feels himself blush as Erica drags him over to where the rest of the pack stands. Around a cake. That says 'Congrats on not dying'.

"Really Erica?" Derek growls. Stiles chuckles.

"Oh come on." She says. "I could've gotten them to write 'Congrats on the sex' but I'm not that heartless." She smirks at her Alpha, who opens his mouth to retort something back, but Scott interrupts.

"Who's having sex?" he asks.

All the wolves turn to him, along with Stiles and Allison. Derek and Stiles cast a look at each other, one that Scott catches.

"No." he says in mock horror. "You and Derek?! My Alpha and my best friend?!" Scott's eyes go wide and he turns to Derek. "You defiled my brother you ass!"

Scott pounces on him, tackling him to the ground, trying to throw in some punches while yelling things about how he hates him, his life, and if they make out in front of him he'll tear his own eyeballs out.

The rest of the pack stands amused, Allison wincing at her boyfriend's lack of knowledge, and Stiles horrified that Derek might actually hurt Scott. Boyd and Isaac start placing bets on how long Derek will let Scott hit him, and Erica takes pictures.

"And I swear to god if you ever hurt him you'll get a wolfsbane bullet to the dick!" Scott yells. He growls, rolling off his Alpha. Scott finally notices everyone staring at them as he awkwardly brushes himself off and walks over to Allison.

Stiles walks over to Derek, who's still lying on the ground. He offers a hand, to which Derek takes, letting himself be pulled up.

"Well so much for telling my Dad before the pack." Stiles says. Derek huffs, fixing his jacket. He walks over to Scott, promptly putting him in a head lock.

"Jesus, dude, sorry!" Scott whines.

"If you ever jump me again I'll rip off your arm, are we clear?" Derek growls. Scott nods frantically, and Erica snaps another picture, snickering.

Derek lets him go, rolling his eyes when he glues himself to Allison's side. Allison grabs his hand, muttering soft and reassuring things into her boyfriend's ear.

"So are we gonna eat the cake or…" Isaac trails.

Erica groans, tossing her camera at Boyd, who catches it for her. Stiles becomes momentarily afraid when Erica whips out a knife the size of her head, looking way too lethal for his liking. He takes a step closer to Boyd.

Once cake is passed around, everyone settles down some. Well mostly. Scott tried to shove cake in Derek's face for finding out his best friend was gay before he did, but Derek's growl is enough to make him back down. Erica had pouted though because she really wanted to see them rough it out again.

They finish up and soon Isaac's wheeling out the tv and the couches are getting pushed together. Everyone takes there spots, the same ones from last time, as soon as Boyd pops in the DVD.

It's weird how days ago Stiles was in this exact spot, doing the same exact thing, but now everything is completely different. Now the man he's currently wrapped around is his boyfriend, the girl who has just put her head in Stiles lap is his best friend, and he actually remembers things that happened before.

He feels Derek's arms tighten around him and the soft nuzzle of his lips against his hair. He wants to remember, if not for him, then for them, his pack. He can try and learn everything again, he knows he has the capability to, but he doesn't want to lose his memories.

He wants to see Boyd's surprise party, wants to know if it was like his own or something else entirely. He wants to know if he actually taught Erica how to drive, or if someone else had to step in to help. He wants to remember how he met Allison as Scott's girlfriend, something that still blows his mind.

He's seen his and Derek's firsts, but he wants to see their seconds, their thirds. He wants to remember the touches and words that were shared between them. He wants to remember it all.

But he might not ever gain his memories back. Not right now, maybe not tomorrow, or even a week from today. He might get bits and pieces, little things that make him sad, or smile, or wish he knew more. He might get bigger memories, more important ones that defined who he became.

He hopes that one day he'll gain it back, but even if he doesn't, Stiles thinks he'd be okay with that.

He likes where he is now, with people he cares for, people he can call his family. He feels like he can trust them, _knows_ that he can.

And yes, Stiles knows that Jackson is some were-lizard, and Lydia has lost her damn mind, but right now, he's okay. The pack is safe, together. He's here, he's happy.

"You okay?" Derek whispers to him. Stiles knows it's useless because the wolves can probably hear him anyway, but the teen still smiles and nods.

"Yeah, I am." He answers. He leans back further into Derek's chest, running his fingers through Erica's hair. She's already asleep and probably drooling on his leg.

Stiles reaches up to press a kiss to Derek's cheek, grinning at him. Derek just turns and presses his lips against Stiles'. It's slow and intimate, something just between them.

"Dudes my eyes." Scott groans, flopping into Isaac's stomach. Allison chuckles, reaching over to brush her boyfriend's hair.

"Watch the movie Scott." Derek says. He goes back to kissing Stiles.

"If you pop a boner while I'm laying on you, I'll kill you." Erica grumbles. She shifts around on him, getting more comfortable, before falling back asleep.

Stiles sighs, giving Derek a final peck before returning to his previous position of just snuggling against his chest. If Stiles is being honest, this is just as good, if not better.

And he can't help but smile at the realization that this is his life now. That this is his family, that he gets to keep them. And yes, there will be bumps and bruises along the way, but there will also be moments like this, happy ones. Things all families go through.

Stiles understands now how important his former life was, how many significant things he hasn't quite recalled yet. But he's okay with that, really he is.

Because even if he doesn't remember his past, he'll start building memories for his future.

* * *

**WELP THAT'S IT. I may possibly, maybe, continue this? I don't know yet, it's still iffy. Like I could, but idk. Or do it from Derek's point of view, or a short story about the days leading up to Stiles waking up. (already have a draft for that one lol). But yeah, that's it. **

**Love you, review please, hit me up on twitter TheSterekShow, or tumblr .com **

**BYE :)**


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